My Life as a Potato by Arianne Costner

Author:Arianne Costner [Costner, Arianne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2020-03-24T00:00:00+00:00

14

Doug Comes Back to Haunt Me

On Saturday, I wake to the worst commercial jingle ever invented.

I’M A JIGGLY JELL-O MAN

YOU’RE A JIGGLY JELL-O FAN

JIGGLY JIGGLY JELL-O IN YOUR TUM

I smack my phone off my nightstand and moan. “Ugh, Hunter.”

One of Hunter’s favorite hobbies is stealing my phone and changing my text alerts to annoying songs. Somehow he always manages to find a song that’s more annoying than the last. It started with “Call Me Maybe.” Then “Barbie Girl.” Last week, “Who Let the Dogs Out” went off during math. It turned out okay, because the whole class joined in. They sang so loud, Ms. Meyers never found out it was my phone. One of my top-ten moments of the year.

I rub my eyes and open the text message from Jayla Marden: Hey Ben!

My heart skips in my chest. I answer right away.

Me: Hey! What’s up?

Jayla Marden: Nothing much. I’m bored. Kind of feeling like ice cream.

I stare at the message, baffled. She wants ice cream at 9:32 in the morning? Does she want me to go get her some? Or is she just stating a random fact?

It’d be best to respond with something safe. A foolproof answer.

Me: Me too.

Jayla Marden: Haha

Why is she laughing? Girls are so confusing.

Jayla Marden: Wanna meet up later today? How about Sammy’s on Tate St?

I can’t believe it. She wants to see me outside school. My heart pounds like I just ran the mile. The idea sounds great on the surface, but it can only end in disaster. Need I recall the mistakes of my past? I’m a nonsense-spewing, water-spilling, phone-dropping fool around girls I like. The whole fantasy I’ve built up in my head could come crashing down the moment I say something dumb.

But Idaho Ben is not afraid of girls.

Me: Sure.

I don’t want to look too eager, after all.

We decide to meet up at one-thirty p.m., which is perfect since Ellie’s recital starts at noon. I can bike straight from the recital to Sammy’s.

After breakfast and a shower, I put on my nicest button-down shirt and dark jeans. I have some time to kill, so I do a few handstands. Maybe I’ll be brave enough to attempt one at the next game.

Before I know it, it’s time to leave. On my way out the door, I realize I forgot something important. I dash back to my room and dig some bills out of the envelope on my dresser—leftover Christmas money from Grandma Hardy. I can’t believe I almost forgot to bring money. Jayla would’ve had to pay for me. Disaster averted.

Luckily, last night’s snow has melted off the sidewalks, so I’m able to ride my bike without breaking any bones. The church is a few blocks farther than I planned for. I slip into the recital room two minutes late with sore legs from having pedaled so fast.

Ellie, first on the program, faces an audience of thirty or so. Her hair is curled, which is unusual for her, but it looks really pretty.

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